As I spent half my weekend helping my mother-in-law move her belongings out of a UPACK storage container, I was attempting to entertain myself by pondering what sorts of things or places you might find if you broke into the storage areas of various characters in fantasy literature.
In no particular order, here are the ten things I came up with:
- Bilbo Baggins’ collection of antique China from the Took clan, including a strange gravy boat shaped like Gollum’s head.
- Merlin’s collection of futuristic NSFW girly magazines from wherever the heck he started aging backwards with knowledge of the future.
- Saruman’s “Room of Great Glass Globes” featuring a bag of marbles from his childhood and a “Giant Eye” plastic bubble he rolls around the halls of Isengard in late at night.
- The map room in the Black Fortress from Krull pointing out every strange location the fortress was meant to appear on the planet before it left…
- Garet Jax’ weapons cache featuring a book detailing every nick and dent incurred while rescuing other characters.
- The anteroom to the Raiders of the Lost Ark Warehouse where the guards pull out objects late at night while passing around a bottle of good whisky and discuss how they might blow up the world a few times if they were so inclined.
- A closet full of staves in one of Loki’s secret hideaways between realms – including a few variations on the Chitauri Scepter he had the dwarves whip up as party favors with foam core and padding to play with a group of Valkyrie maidens he’d invited to a festival he never attended…
- Crom’s sword room, crammed to the hilt with all the swords sworn to him over the centuries by heroes who eventually died in horrible ways in combat.
- The Mad Hatter’s hidden haberdashery.
- The bricklayer of Oz’s shrine to the bricks in the famous Yellow Brick Road that he’d taken over the years. A few were truly made of gold and serve as his retirement fund…
What strange things can YOU come up with?